2023: The most important advice
How to make a difference in your life (year)
My first newsletter of 2022 is still valid for this year. I have only included resource material (above) — and its summary in this newsletter you’re reading — for this year. If the change you desire in your life isn’t rooted in habits, it will fail again, and you will be back just where you started in 2024. Read that again!
How can you make a difference in your life?
James Clear argues in his most popular work, Atomic Habits, that the secret to changing your life is in your habits: the set of behaviours that makes up more than 50% of what we do daily. Clear’s notion is that developing good habits can significantly enhance your life; but, to do so, you must first understand how habits function and how to modify your own. Hence, you need to get a copy of his book this year.
In the book, Clear says that establishing “atomic habits,” or little behavioural improvements, can change your life because behaviours compound — that is, they build on each other to produce increased changes. It’s like compound interest in finance. One positive action leads to another, then another — and before you know it, you’ve turned your life around.
People want their life to move from point A to B in a flash, but it doesn’t work that way. You are in a kind of mould now and crushing yourself to fit into another mould can be painful. You know it’s good for you but the pain that comes with the change is not something you want to bear. Forming the right habits towards that change is a way to ease the pain. Instead of taking it all in at once, the pain is slowly administered until you take the shape of the mould.
For instance, saying one pleasant thing to your lover won’t have a huge influence on your relationship, but doing it every day will. Also, habits can also compound on each other and changing one fundamental habit might set off a chain reaction that urges you to modify other habits. Haven’t you observed that the behavioural challenge(s) you are facing in one aspect of your life are in other areas too? For instance, if you can’t concentrate in class, you may not be able to concentrate on other things outside class.
Haven’t you observed that the behavioural challenge(s) you are facing in one aspect of your life are in other areas too? For instance, if you can’t concentrate in class, you may not be able to concentrate on other things outside class.
In Atomic Habits, James Clear dug further into habits and identifies three levels of habits: goal-driven, system-driven, and identity-driven habits. You must pay attention here now.
Goal-driven Habits
These are behaviours you take on because you want to achieve a certain goal. It is the most popular method people attempt when they want to adjust their behaviour. For instance, many students ‘burn the midnight oil’ not because they like school but because exams are imminent. After the exam, they are back to their former behaviour. People addicted to habits like smoking, masturbation, anger, and the like attempt to use this style to regulate their behaviour but it will always fail consistently.
One of the dangers of being objective-driven is that you may get caught in the web of “arrival fallacy.” you will be happy because you have completed the task, but you will be back at finding another happiness by chasing another goal — and endless loop.
In addition, if you are continually change your objectives, like many people do with new year resolutions, you will be constantly stopping and starting various behaviours to support them, and as a result, you will not create long-term habits that may benefit your life. That’s back to square one in 2024.
System-induced Habits
During my early days at the university, I made sure I read my class notes every day before sleeping. What I was simply trying to do was to create a study routine. I was not trying to pass an exam or test; I just wanted a routine. It is a typical example of system-induced habits. Using systems to regulate your behaviour/make your goal happen instead of using the goal-driven style we described in the previous subheading is what Clear termed system-induced habits.
Identity-driven Habits
This is the most important method of regulating your behaviours, and James Clear quite agrees. Identity-driven habits are actions we engage in because they match our views and core values — identity.
For instance, making a study schedule because it is what successful students do is an identity-driven habit. You’re driven to become a successful student (identity) and not to pass a test or an exam. Similarly, choosing to stick with your friends when they need you because that’s what loyal friends do not because you need something from them is an identity-driven habit.
This method of behavioural control is important because many of the challenges people face worldwide today are tied to identity. There are lots of identity crises all over the place. And identity — how you see yourself — dictates conduct. A prevalent challenge is that most of us strive to modify our behaviour by developing goal-driven habits which will never result in long-term change since you cease doing the behaviour once you reach your goal.
For instance, if you pass the examination you ‘burn the midnight oil’ for every day, you will quit studying because there’s no incentive to continue learning. Because you quit, you will never build the long-term habits required to boost your overall academic performance. It’s mostly the reason you got an A in biology and a D in Chemistry. Long-term behaviour transformation requires identity-driven habits.
Identity is such a broad topic to talk about, so let’s leave it here.
The ultimate goal this year is to change who you are (crush yourself into a new mould) so that it can affect all parts of your life. And the change can be made by taking little steps daily until the habit is fully formed. Therefore, some people say new year resolutions are obsolete because they are of the notion that resolutions should be identity driven, and if it is so, the process of becoming a new person should exceed 365 days. I slightly differ to this approach, anyway, but I will leave it there.
In conclusion, it’s okay to have a lengthy list of what you want to do this year but be more particular about becoming the kind of person that does what you want to do. Like, instead of aiming to pray for six hours every day, choose to become a person that prays, and this may mean praying 15 mins daily at a specific time — small steps. Focus on identity than one-off conduct, that’s how to make a long-lasting difference in your life.
Have a good 2023!
