If you’re late, you lose.
I am not used to going late to any engagement unless I know that the organisers have a reputation to start events late. Let’s leave the casual African events aside. Those ones have a trophy for lateness. I fought this when I was planning my marriage ceremony but alas my vaccine couldn’t cure the ‘virus’ of the majority.
Forget casual engagements. I am talking about serious ‘business’ appointments; in the group of “Come for the meeting at 6 am,” “We will see you at 10 pm,” “Ensure you are there by 2 pm,” and so on.
“Never go late to appointments,” my mentor you’d say. Why, sir? His response will likely be, “You’ll lose the ability to negotiate.” And I found this to be true and the biggest of all the reasons not to go late to serious engagement. I don’t go late to serious places but ‘village people’ almost got me last year.
I applied for a job in January 2021. I didn’t get a response from the firm until December 2021. I guess they kept me on reserve. You need not ask me if I still remember the job when this unexpected response came in because I don’t. In fact, I worked at two employments and rejected two job offers between January and December when I got this response.
“Thank you for your response. I am in London now and no longer interested in the job. However, I can recommend someone as excellent as I” I responded. This is how I respond to any opportunity I refuse. I don’t let it slip because I know someone close to me may need it. I'm obsessed with going the extra mile for others to that extent.
The person on the other side responded, ”That’s good. I am in London. Let’s meet up.” “Meet me at XYZ at 5 pm. Let’s talk.” Quite a coincidence, isn’t it?
To cut a long story short, I lost the negotiation power for that meeting. I got to the meeting almost two hours late because my alarm failed me. Then my trains were delayed too. And this meeting was in North London from my East London abode. But there is no excuse in life’s game.
When I called to inform him that I was at the agreed meeting point, he asked me to check my time. Of course, I knew he was trying to tell me ‘You’re a bloody late comer!’ He said he cancelled the meeting and we cannot see anymore. Ah! Village people really came for me. It took some minutes for me to convince him that I have never gone late to a serious engagement and that that mistake was a one in a thousand chance.
I was only able to regain my negotiation power because (I think) we had a great conversation. I was able to give insight on some projects he had in hand. “I am glad I didn’t discharge you today,” he said. “It was great meeting you, my guy.” Let’s just say my angels didn’t desert me on that day. I gained a relationship on that day anyway and I did recommend a friend for him.
Going late to serious engagements will take the negotiation power from you and leave you begging the other party. Your only job at the negotiation table will be to apologise from start to finish of the meeting. You will keep apologising while they force their demands down your throat. Whether you like what they give you or not, you will most likely take it because you surrendered your power when you showed up late. If you will ever show up late, show up strong!
There are always three elements in any kind of negotiation: time, information and power (Cohen, 1980). I observed that at least two of these elements must be in your favour if you must win any negotiation. So if you show up late to a serious meeting, you are already short of one element. Unless you have information and power in your favour, then you can re-take the table. In my own case, after I lost the element of time, I had only one element in my favour: information.
At least if you’re gonna lose at the table, arrive early and win the power of time. If you went with useful information, that’s another win. Always show up. Show up early and strong!
