Nigerians' letter to daddy and mummy

On behalf of every Nigerian, we want to say thank you to our Daddy and Mummy—UK and US—on whose shoulder we will always stand until we’re old enough to be truly independent. It’s not that we’re that reckless to get out acts together, we are just being subservient to our father and mother. Only a bastard child will not heed to his parents’ instructions. Nigeria will never be one.
Daddy and Mummy, without you, where will our president get adequate care for his health? Without you where will our politicians who have created a functional society for their constituents run to when water pass garri here? Daddy without you, and sometimes your friends in the UAE, where will our leaders go to spend their money? Mummy, if you didn’t work so hard on your educational system, where will children of the influential study? You have done so much for us, we cannot tell it all. Once have you called, thrice have we answered. Who born monkey!
Mummy, when we fought so hard to quit sucking your breast in 1960, we didn’t realise it came with so many responsibilities. We thought it would be a walk in the park and our cargo cult mentality will cause our lands to flow with milk and honey. We hastily stole our freedom not knowing that it came with great responsibility. Mummy, those were the mistakes you made. You set us free physically, allowed us to run off in amazement, but you didn’t tell us we needed to be mentally free too. Now we are in such an abusive relationship with our leaders so much so that without your intervention they cannot sit up.
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